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[ShortyDooWop]

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ShortyDooWop

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Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #1

12-09-2016 at 12:33 pm

I have this woman at work who never seems to miss an opportunity to make fun of my height. Whether it's calling me a hobbit, putting things high in the air and asking me to reach it, asking me to stand next to taller people or reminding me that no woman would want a man who isn't even real. 

At our holiday party this year, she asked me why I hadn't come dressed as an elf and told me to not bother asking for a raise because I wouldn't be able to reach it. This was in front of all of the other employees. 

I cannot understand why for the life of me this kind of behavior is tolerated. If I was to even suggest that she were slightly overweight I would probably receive some kind of corrective action (I've seen this happen before).

Our HR department is full of women and I don't think they will take my complaints seriously. Do you have any advice on how I should approach this?

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[unknown]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #2

12-09-2016 at 02:57 pm

Quote:

Originally posted by ShortyDooWop

I have this woman at work who never seems to miss an opportunity to make fun of my height. Whether it's calling me a hobbit, putting things high in the air and asking me to reach it, asking me to stand next to taller people or reminding me that no woman would want a man who isn't even real. 

At our holiday party this year, she asked me why I hadn't come dressed as an elf and told me to not bother asking for a raise because I wouldn't be able to reach it. This was in front of all of the other employees. 

I cannot understand why for the life of me this kind of behavior is tolerated. If I was to even suggest that she were slightly overweight I would probably receive some kind of corrective action (I've seen this happen before).

Our HR department is full of women and I don't think they will take my complaints seriously. Do you have any advice on how I should approach this?

I hate to say this, but I don't think you can do anything about it.  Most of the heightism, in fact, comes from women.  If the job doesn't take you seriously, then they don't deserve you.

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[multinational]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #3

12-09-2016 at 03:08 pm

That is some unacceptable things that she's saying. That is bulling.

Option one: Report it to your supervisors, make your self serious that you do not accept that behavior, not in a sad way, but more in a confidentway, make it clear that if she continue bulling you will quit, go poplic, report to other authoritise or whatever.

Prepare to have some valid arguments if you are being confrontet by your boss, if he/she says "be a man" you will have to respond back, play the equality card and so on.

Option two: The child method, Just ignore everything she says, and her in general. That way she may get tired of spending energy on bulling you.

 

Option three: Which is my personal favorite. Its more revenge based, play your anger, be confident and arrogant. When she says something, respond back and twist everything she says into your advantage. When she says something, play on her looks, since its what she cares most about, if she tells you that you are a hobit, tell her that she is a fat slut and walk away. If she asked you why you didnt dress as an elf, ask her if she has a fantasy about elves, and she responds no, then you just walk away and say, keep telling your self that.

Just make drama in a defensive way, and have fun doing it. Make it clear that you do not accept her attitude with responses that will hit her mentally, gather information about her, gather a hand, and play the cards right, and you will feel a lot better

 

Reguardless you need confident, I find it motivating looking myself in the mirror and get angry at myself, telling my self that i am alone in this world, and i need to adapt emotionally. Find what ever makes you confident and practise it every day

 

If i was you, i would look for another job, and quit once you have another. Hang in there, you are not the only one having to go through *bleep* like that

Last Edited By multinational (2016-12-09 15:09:26)

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[gymshorts]

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gymshorts

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #4

12-10-2016 at 09:32 am

Whatever you do, remember this: operate from a position of strength.  Everything you state should be true, valid, and powerful.  Stand on truth without flinching.  Make statements that cannot be controverted or denied.  Call a spade a spade.  Face your rude, belligerent coworker and tell her openly that her comments and hurtful, unnecessary, and it reveals to everyone else precisely how mean and hateful she is.  Ask her if she enjoys being thought of as a nasty, rude, hateful person.  Announce to everyone that what you lack in size, which is out of your control, is nothing compared to what she lacks in tact and kindness, which IS under her control.  

For now, find a superior that would be responsive to your need and have him intervene with a showdown meeting IN CHAIRS between the three of you, and have her cited for bullying, and told to never do it again.

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[ThatFlyShortGuy]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #5

12-10-2016 at 09:52 pm

Quote:

Originally posted by multinational

 

Option three: Which is my personal favorite. Its more revenge based, play your anger, be confident and arrogant. When she says something, respond back and twist everything she says into your advantage. When she says something, play on her looks, since its what she cares most about, if she tells you that you are a hobit, tell her that she is a fat slut and walk away. If she asked you why you didnt dress as an elf, ask her if she has a fantasy about elves, and she responds no, then you just walk away and say, keep telling your self that.

Just make drama in a defensive way, and have fun doing it. Make it clear that you do not accept her attitude with responses that will hit her mentally, gather information about her, gather a hand, and play the cards right, and you will feel a lot better

If i was you, i would look for another job, and quit once you have another. Hang in there, you are not the only one having to go through *bleep* like that

I agree with your first and second options. Your third option will get him dragged through the streets. Qutting will be running to escape heightism, and as we know, it's everywhere. 

We have to challenge this type of stuff, we just have to. 

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[harleydude1]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #6

12-11-2016 at 10:19 pm

It is time to stop being Mister Nice guy, and time to play hard ball.  I would contact an attorney who handles these types of cases and ask what is the best type of evidence to collect.  I would get a digital voice recorder and start recording everything she says (but hidden so no one knows.) 

I would then go to HR and explain what is happening.  If nothing happens, I would visit HR a second time and inform them you are considering legal action.   I would then play some of the recordings.  When they realize you are serious, and it will cost the company money, you will get a result. 

I worked at a big company and we had a he become a she.  Everyone was informed that no one was to give the he/she any problems or they would be fired.  You have rights like everyone else, use them.

 

 

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[Suarez223]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #7

12-11-2016 at 11:17 pm

Quote:

Originally posted by harleydude1

It is time to stop being Mister Nice guy, and time to play hard ball.  I would contact an attorney who handles these types of cases and ask what is the best type of evidence to collect.  I would get a digital voice recorder and start recording everything she says (but hidden so no one knows.) 

I would then go to HR and explain what is happening.  If nothing happens, I would visit HR a second time and inform them you are considering legal action.   I would then play some of the recordings.  When they realize you are serious, and it will cost the company money, you will get a result. 

I worked at a big company and we had a he become a she.  Everyone was informed that no one was to give the he/she any problems or they would be fired.  You have rights like everyone else, use them.

 

 

I agree with this, but be careful with recording conversations. Check your state laws. For example, New York is a one party state meaning you don't need someone's permission to record conversations. If you're in a two party state, recording conversations can get you prison time.

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[multinational]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #8

12-13-2016 at 01:00 pm

Quote:

Originally posted by ThatFlyShortGuy

Quote:

Originally posted by multinational

 

Option three: Which is my personal favorite. Its more revenge based, play your anger, be confident and arrogant. When she says something, respond back and twist everything she says into your advantage. When she says something, play on her looks, since its what she cares most about, if she tells you that you are a hobit, tell her that she is a fat slut and walk away. If she asked you why you didnt dress as an elf, ask her if she has a fantasy about elves, and she responds no, then you just walk away and say, keep telling your self that.

Just make drama in a defensive way, and have fun doing it. Make it clear that you do not accept her attitude with responses that will hit her mentally, gather information about her, gather a hand, and play the cards right, and you will feel a lot better

If i was you, i would look for another job, and quit once you have another. Hang in there, you are not the only one having to go through *bleep* like that

I agree with your first and second options. Your third option will get him dragged through the streets. Qutting will be running to escape heightism, and as we know, it's everywhere. 

We have to challenge this type of stuff, we just have to. 

 

Depends how you define dragged through the streets, since he always is. Maybe needs to be on the street for this one? I feel, as a shorter guy you can get away with many things, like gays, ill people and women for that matter. Why not use it to our advantage as women do?

Reguarding quitting, i would rather consider it as elevating, finding something better. He shouldnt "job-down" but find something better. Find a better fight.

Heightism will get him dragged through the streets no matter what. 

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[harleydude1]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #9

12-13-2016 at 01:44 pm

The only thing multinational has right is to look for another job.  Everything else he writes about it nonsense.  I will list again what needs to be done.

1.       Get legal advice.  What you need to do with HR.  Who you take to at HR and what they said.  What evidence is best to collect (video, voice recordings, paperwork etc.) and you want several pieces of evidence, not just one recording, but videos, voice, and e-mails from HR.

2.      Look for another job, so as when things get messy and nasty, you have job leads in the works if you are asked to leave.  Get your ducks in a row, first.  Then play the foolish games of multinational.

3.      If you want to play verbal games and trade insults then go for it.  But you cannot be the aggressor.  She has to initiate the encounter and better if there is a crowd to see who started if first.  You cannot call her a fat slut.  Maybe a fat cow, but don’t swear except is she does so.  You don’t want to be accused on starting anything.  You want to respond to her actions.  Again, if you have a voice recording of the event, it goes a long way in backing up your side of the story.

 

 

 

 

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[multinational]

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Re: Woman keeps making fun of my height at work. How do I report it?

post #10

12-15-2016 at 02:41 pm

Quote:

Originally posted by harleydude1

The only thing multinational has right is to look for another job.  Everything else he writes about it nonsense.  I will list again what needs to be done.

1.       Get legal advice.  What you need to do with HR.  Who you take to at HR and what they said.  What evidence is best to collect (video, voice recordings, paperwork etc.) and you want several pieces of evidence, not just one recording, but videos, voice, and e-mails from HR.

2.      Look for another job, so as when things get messy and nasty, you have job leads in the works if you are asked to leave.  Get your ducks in a row, first.  Then play the foolish games of multinational.

3.      If you want to play verbal games and trade insults then go for it.  But you cannot be the aggressor.  She has to initiate the encounter and better if there is a crowd to see who started if first.  You cannot call her a fat slut.  Maybe a fat cow, but don’t swear except is she does so.  You don’t want to be accused on starting anything.  You want to respond to her actions.  Again, if you have a voice recording of the event, it goes a long way in backing up your side of the story.

 

 

 

 

Now That is nonsense

You are asking him to spy openly by recording a snapchat...

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