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[ghosttalon1]

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ghosttalon1

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5 foot 3 guy,feel depressed after going through so much discrimination

post #1

05-27-2017 at 11:56 am

All the way from childhood people thought I was supposed to just grow taller, as I grow older say 16-17 people found it odd I was still this height. I've gone through bouts of depression throughout the years, I'm 22 at the moment and although I've gotten through some serious times dealing with obesity due to how insecure I felt and lost the weight. I still can't help but feel held back through no fault of my own. These past few months I've felt extremely confident, I used to weigh 190lbs (82kg). At several points in my life I considered suicide. I am now 130lbs, I cycle 2x a week and go gym 2x a week, progressing fairly slightly slower than expected but fairly well. Even though I've gone through all this, built this confidence, it gets shattered as soon as I realize that instead of applauding you, people just bring you down. Family, friends and people who you try to ask out... This isn't a story to gain pity from anyone here, I'm sure you all have experienced similar descrimination throughout your life. I ask you though, why does it feel that everything you try to accomplish just goes unnoticed by everyone? 

Most important of all is the general perception from women I get all the time, the thing that grinds my gears the most is when I'm told "you're too short". Why, why is this a deal breaker for women? I find this to be such a disgusting statement to make, why is that they are allowed to put me down due to something I cannot control but when I mention their weight, they turn into aggressive hateful beasts? 

I felt the need to put this out there as to get it off my chest. I guess there's nothing I can do about my height, just feels bad being dealt such a harsh card in life.

 

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[FashionForward]

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FashionForward

Short Vassal

Height: 5'6

Location: Upper Manhattan, United States

Joined: Jan 09, 2017

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Re: 5 foot 3 guy,feel depressed after going through so much discrimination

post #2

05-28-2017 at 07:38 pm

Hi. We're all different heights here and not fitting into cookie cutter ideas of what is acceptable appearance-wise socially is a difficult pill to swallow. I can't tell you to not feel down about the cards life has dealt you, but your attitude toward involving yourself in a bunch of activities and finding meaning from life beyond sex and relationships is a step in the right direction.

It's unfortunate that height is a deal breaker for many women and many of them (men included) will act as if height is trivial. They're unaware of the severity and impact of height bias because it's something they don't have to deal with and something they don't relate to. Ask them about racism, even if they don't experience, because they share something in common with people who do (i.e. skin color, ethnicity, etc), all of sudden it is sympathy-city.

As for relationships, it's a numbers game and you have to keep approaching. If online, tweak your dating profile, your clothes/fashion should be impeccable. I know it's not you but there is a 5'3 guy at my gym who is a police officer. He's been married twice (divorced twice as well) and even with that talks about how hard the dating scene is (he is 59).

Keep going and learn to deal. We all have to make the best of what we've been given and get the most out of life. 

Welcome to the forum. 

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[gymshorts]

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gymshorts

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Re: 5 foot 3 guy,feel depressed after going through so much discrimination

post #3

05-28-2017 at 09:46 pm

Here's a re-posting of something I posted a few months back:  

I'm only 5'4".  Junior high school was the worst-- senior high a little better -- in terms of getting insulted and pushed around by my schoolmates who loved lording their size over me.  So, I designed my adult life carefully.  I am in a professional academic position in which size is totally irrelevant and never brought up.  I found a woman who loves me as I am - she is very uneasy around large men - and finds me sexy.  We've been happily married almost 32 years.  I'm telling you this to encourage you to find better friends, find a woman (indeed-- they do exist) who doesn't mind or prefers having a smaller man for a mate. Find a job in which size is not a big deal.  The only time I get insulted about my size now is about once every 3 years from a knucklehead relative or a total stranger.  I now ask them why they are so insecure that they feel compelled to try to bully me.  I ask them what makes them feel inferior.  They have no answer, and they don't do it again.  

Anyway-- keep up the conversation - we're all here to support each other.  Women and tall men have NO idea what we go through. Only we do, so interact with us. You'll find it helpful.

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