Do women give shorter white guys a pass?

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Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #1

This is something I've noticed with interracial dating. 

Shorter white guys seem to get some kind of pass from non-white women.

I will not deny that a taller man (any race) will have more potential for better outcomes when it comes to dating non-Indian women.

However, I notice that non-white women will be more accepting of a shorter white guy while scoffing at shorter men from their own race and culture.

There is this Asian woman I know who always has something negative to say about short men, but her current boyfriend is 5'6 or so, but white.

I called her out on this and she said, "but he's different".

All of her Asian boyfriends were exceptionally tall.

The only thing "different" about him is that he is not Asian.

I've seen this with Indian women I know also.

What is your take on this. Have you noticed this?

 

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #2

Yep. I notice this too. There is a racial hierarchy and a height hierarchy. They are separate, but intersect.

For black men with few exceptions, he has to be hyper-masculine. This can be expressed with height or top-tier material things.

For Asian and Indian men, they have to be tall and successful in most cases if they want to date out unless they are dating a woman who culturally would benefit from of their genetic traits.

White men unequivocally get a pass with reason. How else could Oprah date Roger Ebert (5'6), but then end up with Stedman Graham (6'7).

Do you think a black version of Roger Ebert would've had a fighting chance with her at any point during her career?

 

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #3

I have seen this even in my family. It's not just about height either. Well, height conveys status and in this society, so does being white.

In this case, the Asian men have to come with height if they are not successful. If they are successful, there is some leeway.

There is more leeway with a white guy though.

Even when I was in school, I'd hear some of my friends criticize a guy for how he dressed, what kind of car he had (college), if he had his license (high school), how good his teeth was, etc and then go date a white guy who dressed like a bum.

This is not a judgement against any man who is white, rather just speaking to the fact that in dating, being white gets you bonus points and can make up for things that women will be more critical of if they were dealing with a non-white person.

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #4

This is definitely a thing.

In my community you have women who will cape for men who aren't black, it's not just about being white.

Hear me out. My sister's friend did not date her own kind (black men) unless they were mixed, and if they were mixed with black they had to be tall. Now she didn't say this, but I'm going by who she bought around.

If they were Spanish, Arab or Indian, they could be any height and she would bring some short mofos around!

The only thing though was that they always had to be fresh from head to toe and had to have something going for themselves. They absolutely could not look like a bum.

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #5

Quote:

Originally posted by AsianGod

There is more leeway with a white guy though.

Even when I was in school, I'd hear some of my friends criticize a guy for how he dressed, what kind of car he had (college), if he had his license (high school), how good his teeth was, etc and then go date a white guy who dressed like a bum.

Definitely this. The white guys in these scenarios could dress like anything with these women.

Indian or Asian guy needed to have some style, even if they are tall.

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #6

Quote:

Originally posted by ChuckChill

In my community you have women who will cape for men who aren't black, it's not just about being white.

Hear me out. My sister's friend did not date her own kind (black men) unless they were mixed, and if they were mixed with black they had to be tall. Now she didn't say this, but I'm going by who she bought around.

True that! My aunt's friend is this Dominican woman (basically black, if she didn't open her mouth, you would think she was African American by appearance). Her kid's father was Peruvian, but short, I want to say 5'5.

Her current husband though is 6'4 with dreads. 

Why does this matter?

She had a kid with the Peruvian. That kid is grown now, but has light skin and curly hair.

In other words, that Peruvian guy had a use case. I've seen her other boyfriends.

All this to say, yes, White Guys do get a pass, but also it's culture-specific. Sometimes, it's more that your own kind doesn't get a pass.

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #7

I think so. White women give me the hardest time and I'm white.

I find though that black, hispanic and asian women are usually the most receptive to me and give me the least push-back overall. That's not to say that I have anywhere near a 100% or even 30% success rate. I didn't get, nor still get dates at any high clip, but when I do score a phone number or social media handle, I usually have the most success with the women I just mentioned. 

I can see what AsianGod is saying. I've seen the exes of some of my black and hispanic girlfriends and they looked and dressed nothing like myself, and were definitely much taller.

 

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #8

Quote:

Originally posted by joshbaskins

I think so. White women give me the hardest time and I'm white.

I find though that black, hispanic and asian women are usually the most receptive to me and give me the least push-back overall. That's not to say that I have anywhere near a 100% or even 30% success rate. I didn't get, nor still get dates at any high clip, but when I do score a phone number or social media handle, I usually have the most success with the women I just mentioned. 

I can see what AsianGod is saying. I've seen the exes of some of my black and hispanic girlfriends and they looked and dressed nothing like myself, and were definitely much taller.

 

This is exactly what I mean when I said "your kind doesn't get a pass".

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Re: Do women give shorter white guys a pass?
post #9

I've definitely seen rhis in my own family. I'm Puerto Rican. Some of my family members have married Dominicans. It doesn't work the way you're explaining here. There definitely is a "preference" for white men in conversation, but I haven't seen this play out in their lives.

I have some cousins who love black men, and they've been pretty generous when it comes to height. I've seen some date short ones and tall ones. They will date white men, but they usually have to be tall and have a lot of swagg. They can't be preppy or anything like that.

Most of them express that they aren't into Indian and Asian men. 

I do have one family friend who married an Asian guy. She's also Puerto Rican. The guy is short, balding, but loaded. The guy's family owns restaurants. 

Most of my family members are into Latinos though for cultural and language reasons.

Outside of my family though, I've definitely noticed that with other groups and South American Latinos a big preference for and more leeway granted to white guys.

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Valentine’s Date Ideas to Make Her Smile: A Shorter Man’s Guide

When religious authorities in the late Roman Empire moved to suppress the pagan festival of Lupercalia and elevate a feast day honoring the Christian martyr Saint Valentine—who, to this day, remains something of a historical mystery—they had no idea how widespread, commercialized, and romance-obsessed the holiday would eventually become. And guess what, sir—you, the one reading this, get to foot the bill for that centuries-old decision and its cultural legacy.

If you’re in a relationship, you’d better deliver. Even if your lady insists she isn’t overly concerned with the “small stuff,” the truth is that—speaking as a former hopeless romantic and lifelong traditionalist when it comes to this aspect of dating (when I am dating, because I’m thoroughly enjoying the single life at the moment)—it’s still your job to court. And as long as you’re with someone, that’s a job you never really get to clock out of (said with equal parts sarcasm and sincerity).

 

See Also: How To Be A Confident Shorter Man Who Wins In Life

 

In this piece, I’m offering a list of romantic date ideas. I’m well aware that most of us aren’t operating with a Hollywood-sized budget, so these suggestions run the gamut. As someone who admittedly over-plans, I once created spreadsheets packed with date, vacation, holiday, and birthday ideas spanning years—ready to be deployed at a moment’s notice (yes, I am a certified nerd). I can say with confidence that in past relationships—even when things eventually soured—one area where I was never criticized was thoughtfulness. As a shorter guy, this one element of relationship etiquette has always helped me stand out.

Without further ado, here’s a list of Valentine’s Day date ideas for her.

DINNER
 

RODIZIO-STYLE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT STEAKHOUSES

These never get old. There are plenty of chains, and many of them manage to feel exclusive despite the all-you-can-eat format. In the New York metro area, the most popular options are Texas de Brazil and Fogo de Chão, with the latter being my personal favorite. Servers come to your table with various cuts of meat, while the rest of your plate is handled via a well-stocked buffet. I’d strongly recommend considering location—take a minute to Google interior photos. Once you land on a good one, the experience is almost always positive.
 

"EXOITIC" OR LESS CONVENTIONAL RESTAURANTS

I’d skip the usual Italian, Chinese, or Spanish restaurants—not because they aren’t great, but because those cuisines are oversaturated and, in my opinion, better suited for other occasions. Instead, look toward Thai, Nepali, Turkish, Nigerian, hibachi-style, or fusion restaurants. In New York, Cabana is one fusion spot I swear by, blending Latin American influences with a lively atmosphere. Years later, one ex-girlfriend still reminded me of the Thai restaurant I once took her to—proof that thoughtful choices stick. Thai Villa on 19th Street in Midtown Manhattan is a great example: elegant, visually striking, and priced reasonably enough to justify the experience.

 

DAY TRIPS

Sticking with the idea of giving her an experience she’ll remember, here are a few short-trip ideas. You can easily combine these with the dinner options above to plan out a full day.


HELICOPTER RIDE

Here in NYC, Blade has been heavily advertising helicopter rides in the $175–$225 range, primarily for commuters traveling between Manhattan, JFK, and Newark. If you’re near any major metropolitan area, chances are there’s a similar service available. While commuter-based, if you’ve never been in a helicopter, it makes for a memorable experience. Not interested in riding together? Get her a ticket so she can take a helicopter home from work one day instead of sitting in traffic.


WEEKEND COTTAGE GETAWAY

One year, I took a girlfriend to the Poconos for the weekend. The cottage included a Jacuzzi at a very competitive price, and the surrounding area offered everything from zip-lining to shooting ranges. It made for an unforgettable weekend. Consider something similar in your area—the Catskills if you’re in New York, or mountain and lake regions elsewhere. Most people don’t realize how many options are within a few hours’ drive.


SPA VISIT

Probably not the most unique gift, but what woman—aside from the most obsessive-compulsive germaphobe—doesn’t appreciate a self-care day? As always, read reviews and look at interior photos. Many spas offer package deals that include massages, pool access, and gift cards that allow flexibility. You can make it more appealing by turning part of it into a date, while also giving her a gift card she can use solo later on (maybe on a day when she’s particularly stressed out—with you).

 

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THE ARTS

Romance is the theme here, so I’ll spare you suggestions involving sold-out arena shows geared toward metal, hip-hop, or EDM fans. For couples, intimacy is the point.
 

SMALL JAZZ CLUBS

Musical tastes vary, but it’s hard to beat a hole-in-the-wall jazz club for an intimate live-music experience. Even if you’re not a jazz person, there’s something undeniably exciting about watching a small group perform just feet away. In New York City, places like Birdland, Smalls, and the Village Vanguard come to mind. Most have a one-drink minimum and solid finger food.
 

OFF-BRODWAY AND SMALL THEATER

Even smaller cities tend to have at least one local performance venue worth checking out. Off-Broadway productions—often staged in tiny theaters—create a more intimate experience. You can whisper, lean in, and actually focus on the dialogue. Smaller productions tend to rely more heavily on storytelling than spectacle, which makes the experience feel more personal. Plus, most of us have already seen The Lion King, Wicked, or Blue Man Group at least once.

 
CLASS INTENSIVES

Paint-and-sip nights have their place—great for early dates or random nights out. But for couples who’ve been together longer and want something more memorable, these ideas hit harder.
 

COFFEE CLASSES

New York–based 787 Coffee offers a “Learn Coffee in Puerto Rico” experience that takes you directly to their coffee farms. You’ll learn about growing, processing, roasting, and brewing over a two-day intensive. Prices start around $1,200. If that’s a bit much, private brewing classes at their New York locations run closer to $250. Why include this? Because the focus here is on unique experiences—and this definitely qualifies.

 

WINE CLASSES AND TASTINGS

February isn’t the ideal time for vineyard activities in the Northeast, but wine experiences don’t disappear in winter. Regions like the Seneca Lake Wine Trail offer seasonal events such as wine-and-chocolate pairings, which fit Valentine’s Day perfectly. Closer to the city, spots like Macari Vineyards on the North Fork or Millbrook Winery in the Hudson Valley offer tastings year-round. Save harvest-season activities for late summer or early fall—but don’t rule out winter wine weekends entirely.

 

THE SMALLER THINGS

While most of this piece focuses on bigger gestures, the smaller ones often carry more emotional weight.
 

  1. eCards – A thoughtful message first thing in the morning goes a long way.
  2. A Real Greeting Card – Taking the time to write something by hand still matters.
  3. Printed or Polaroid Photos – Physical memories last longer than scrolling.
  4. Flowers – Timeless for a reason.
  5. Chocolate – Godiva bags, assortments, or an absurdly large bar all work.
  6. Cake – Buy the whole cake, not a slice. Remember her favorite.
  7. Rose Petals – Classic. Cleanup is annoying, but the reaction usually makes up for it.


I distinctly remember an ex-girlfriend of mine posting a photo of her with a caption celebrating our relationship with her holding the five-pound chocolate bar I bought for her to boast about its size. It was something she brought up regularly in conversation when telling the many reasons why she was so into me. The little things will often create the biggest memories. 

 

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CONCLUSION

Valentine’s Day is a commercial mess—we all know this—but that doesn’t get you off the hook. You should be showing love year-round; Valentine’s Day just forces you to do it in overdrive. Don’t treat February 14th as a way to make up for neglect during the other 364 days. She’ll notice that more than anything you do on the fourteenth.

We hope this list gives you some solid ideas—and maybe even makes Cupid a little jealous. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve done on Valentine’s Day? Share your experience and join the conversation on our forum. Cheers.

 

Like This Article? Chat About It And More On Our Forum For Shorter Men!

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