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Comebacks for height insults.

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ThatFlyShortGuy
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ThatFlyShortGuy
Short Baron
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Location: Queens, NYC, United States
Joined: Apr 16, 2014
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Humor
Comebacks for height insults.
post #1
06-30-2014 at 12:04 pm

I don't get a lot of height jokes, but I have a colleague at work who is two inches shorter than me and not a day goes by where someone doesn't insult him for his height. Whenever they insult him he just stays quiet and laughs it off, but I can tell he is uncomfortable.

 

Whenever someone sends a joke my way, I destroy them by sizing them up and picking out something they'd be insecure about. I'm not insecure for being short, but I bet the people who insult me when they do it assume so. 

 

So what comebacks do you have and use? This should be a useful and comprehensive list. 

groove311
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groove311
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #2
06-30-2014 at 07:34 pm

ask them for their iq,
tell them to get a calculator, and compare it to a year of a fortune CEO's salary.
ask them if they're hot enough to have a hollywood actress give them a call.

ask them how many hollywood actress would date them.
do they think angelina jolie is interested in them?
do they have enough money to support jennifer aninston? what about britney spears?
ask them how many thousands of people would show up to their funeral if they died compared to a US president?

groove311
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groove311
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #3
06-30-2014 at 07:42 pm

ask them how many millions of people know them compared to a Bill gates or Tom Cruise or Leonardo Dicaprio.
Are u more important than a homeless person? why?
If they die tomorrow, how many thousands of people will remember them and show up to their funeral?
How does their income compare to Warren buffet?
Is she hot enough to have Tom cruise give them a call?
Are they important enough to have a meeting with President Obama?

ur not special bro. nobody is.

groove311
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groove311
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Location: San Francisco, United States
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #4
07-01-2014 at 02:59 pm

hey dude just say, "Let's say you die in a few days. Do u think i would care?"

i got u
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igotu226
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #5
07-19-2014 at 04:48 am

> groove311 wrote: > hey dude just say, "Let's say you die in a few days. Do u think i would care?"

 

WOW! LOL

JoeBlack
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JoeBlack
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #6
07-19-2014 at 04:53 am

There is site that has a list of combacks for physical insults here

 

I don't think they are effective, but if you want a starting point.....

i got u
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igotu226
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #7
07-19-2014 at 06:06 am

"That's not what your mother said last night"

 

"I can wear boots to be taller, you're stuck with that ugly face"

 

"I'm tall when I stand on my wallet"

 

"Being short is natural, being dumb is not"

MrNo1
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MrNo1
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #8
07-19-2014 at 07:48 am

I'm not short, you're just really tall.

 

I hope a terrorist highjacks a plane and flies it into your lips! (Chris Rock joke)

 

Think about me the next time you trip over something you couldn't see

 

I hope you hit your head on air conditioner

 

I hope you knock your head into sun and burn your hair off the next time you walk outside

 

A walk with you must suck. Two steps and you're already 10 miles ahead of everyone else. 

FatBanger
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FatBanger
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #9
07-19-2014 at 07:54 am

I have a few:

The bigger they are the harder they fall and I don't fall

I'm still way flyer than you. Doesn't it suck that taller people are supposed to be better and you're not?"

And I'm still more masculine than you (if a guy insults you)

And I'll take your woman from you by flying under the radar

And you still can't dunk a basketball

 

Every time I used one of these I get a laugh and stop the person who is joking on me in their tracks cheeky

 

manlet 007
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manlet 007
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Re: Comebacks for height insults.
post #10
08-06-2014 at 10:13 am

The thing about these comebacks is that when you use them, you must not appear butthurt and able ot show absolute lack of care

 

Also women are far more likley to insult am an for being short rather than men, so comebacks must be tailered to women aswell.

 

 

Woman: you're short

short man: genetics, just like race...unchangable <-- has to be done in a way where you accept you are short without care

 

Women: you're short

Short man: I know, is makes me so cute <-- total lack of care + reframing it in a positive way, wome hate this because it means she canot get ot you.

And while it is not considered masculine to be cute, it is the idea that you switched it around that works.

 

Last Edited By manlet 007 (2014-08-06 10:16:07)

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